All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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