I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
