I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
