I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
