who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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