Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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