I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
