I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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