update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
