im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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