Are we in a gay sports bar?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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