Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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