um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
