so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
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I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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