you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
