Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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