i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize