tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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