I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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