I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
