The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
