Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize