I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
