I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
