I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
