Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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