you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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