We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
