She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
