They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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