when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
