FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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