sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
