This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
