I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
