Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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