Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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