i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
