i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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