just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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