I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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