After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize