what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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