3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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