he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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