You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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