just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
