WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
