omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
