she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
