I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
