I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
