I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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