i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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