hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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