walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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