Don't you send me to vm
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
