What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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