what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
