Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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