doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
